Last weekend, I was invited to give a Commencement speech for a residential community ceremony at my undergraduate alma mater, The Binghamton University. (No, they don’t really use The like Ohio State, but let us pretend that they do because it sounds more fun.)

It’s a little unnerving to know that your words are going to be a part of someone’s graduation memories. That didn’t really hit me as much when I spoke at my own residential community commencement eight years ago, but I was also more in the habit of speaking in front of crowds at that point. Eight years as an assistant to people doing all the speaking later, it is a bit more nerve-wracking to get up and speak in front of people who are either so totally excited to be there or already sound asleep. It is also really nervewracking when you see parents holding up cell phones or Flip cams to film the entire ceremony. I saw a Flip Cam in the crowd while I was speaking and thought, “Holy smokes, they’re going to trot out this .mov file when the kid is 45. Or it’s going to get lost and deleted when their home computer eventually crashes, so you’re probably good.”

It was also difficult to write a speech that would relate to these graduating students – when I lived in this residential community, it only had two buildings, but now it has five. When I went to Binghamton, we didn’t have Facebook, Twitter or iPhones and we had laptops that doubled as 25 pound weights. Thus when I was graduating, I had arms of steel, no Blackberry thumb and no blurry, red eyed cell phone photos of that traditional night of debauchery known as “Senior Pub Crawl.” (Though I kind of wish I did have those photos, because my outfit was, as I think the kids say these days, off the chain.)

The following is the speech I gave. I will post video when I receive it so you can all see where I went off script.

The podium in which I would meet my fate.

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Faculty, staff, families, parents and last but not least students of the Mountainview College class of 2012, thank you for inviting me to speak at your special weekend. When I first got the invitation, I was taken very aback, thought there had been a mistake, and when I realized that it wasn’t, I did a happy dance – which was appropriate save for the fact that I was commuting to work on the subway at the time and people ended up staring.

I graduated from Binghamton eight years ago last Wednesday, and spoke at the very first Mountainview commencement ceremony, which was held in the Marcy Great Room (if I remember correctly.) While I recognize that much has changed around here in the past eight years, the overarching traits that Binghamton University graduates possess remain the same. We are very smart, both book smart and that all important life smart; we can spell Binghamton without inserting an unnecessary P, and most importantly, we know how to overcome adversity and move on.

I am not just referencing hugely impactful events you have to overcome – I am also talking about the every day pitfalls. The things that others can let ruin their day, or things that they will make the subject of a multi-paragraph rant on Facebook. The losing your phone or your wallet days, the getting in a fight with your significant other days, the days where your boss is disappointed in you for not being able to read her mind.

Binghamton graduates learn that you can’t focus on the tiny trips of life and let them derail you. You have to put on your best poker face, not let anyone let on what happened and solider on. It is because this University has taught you perspective both in and out of the classroom. It is also because sitting around you in lecture halls and living around you in residence halls are people who have overcome great adversity just to be here. You may be one of those people.

When I lived in Mountainview, a few of my suitemates had no permanent place to stay outside of Hunter Hall. When it was a break, they were sleeping on their aunt’s couch, shuttling between different relatives every night or relying on the kindness of friends. But they never let that hardship overwhelm them – they found solutions and overcame the difficulty. Never mind that Spring Break was in two days and they hadn’t heard back from their family about where they might be able to sleep for a week, they had a midterm and that was their focus. They were not going to complain, because sitting around complaining wouldn’t help them overcome that challenge and the others alongside them.

We live in a world that lacks a lot of perspective. Our society doesn’t value the focus to find ways to overcome, but makes sitting around to complain about problems a past time. But us Binghamton graduates will succeed because we focus on the doing and overcoming instead of the moaning and woe. Perspective – us Bearcats have a sense of it that we have learned from each other and the community at large.

Especially during your time at Binghamton, you have learned true perspective due to various tragic and controversial events occurring around the community. And you have pitched in to help your community rebuild without even a second thought. Because Binghamton has taught you that how you react to adversity is just as important as the adversity itself. This ability to overcome gracefully and thoughtfully when life does throw you askew is one of the most distinguishable traits of a Binghamton graduate, and one that will serve you as well the Monday immediately following graduation as it will the weekend you come back for your 50th reunion.

Because us Binghamton grads are such a unique lot, coming back for those reunions at Alumni Weekend and reaching out to alumni within the communities you settle in after this weekend is key. No matter the level of spirit you had for this University while you were here, you will find comfort in someone else being able to understand references to the Vestal Parkway, Baxter or The Brain two, five or ten years down the road. A few years ago when the Boston alumni group started to get together with regularity, you couldn’t shut us up. Our leadership group would get together at a Irish pub in Kenmore Square and talk for hours about Binghamton, regardless of the fact that our time here spanned four decades. Get involved in the Alumni Association in any way that is comfortable for you – attending events, arranging events, talking to perspective students or trying to aim for a spot on the Board. Staying involved with the University not only helps you, but it helps your fellow current alumni and the future students.

In conclusion, I do have three brief pieces of advice that I would be remiss if I didn’t impart on you that I’ve learned since I was in your place eight years ago. One, your favorite Binghamton hooded sweatshirt is indestructible, no matter what various laundromat washers try to do to it, so hold on to it. Two, if you have a favorite band, see them as many times as you are able, because you never know when they’re going to break up – even if you swear they never will. And third, hold on to the same fun-loving, memory seeking, friendship cementing spirit you have had for this entire last semester of undergrad. If you use a little of that spirit in your every day, you will have a plethora of things to look back on fondly when you need them and you will always have fun to look forward to.

Thank you, and congratulations on your graduation!