Just When I Was Starting to Forget that Jerry Jones May In Fact Be Evil — My Bills versus Cowboys Running Diary

Seeing that the Bills only make Monday Night Football appearances every thirteen years, I figured I should probably record it for perpetuity. Well, that and I wasn’t able to join the Bills Backers of Boston down at their big Monday night party at The Harp because I had to work super early the next morning, so I had to do something special to mark the occasion. Instead, it became a running diary of how sad and trying it is to be a Bills fan and a Western New York native, especially whenever you face any professional sports team from Dallas.

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8:33PM Tony Kornheiser is dissing the Bills like its no tomorrow. “I went to school in Binghamton,” he posts a map of New York State, “and even I didn’t care about Buffalo.” The Triple Cities just turned on you, Mr. Kornehiser. I might recommend not coming back for the Bracketbuster ESPN2 game in February.

8:37PM Suzy Kolber. I wish I was you. I have wished I was you since I was 11. I’m 25, and I still wish I was you. Darn it.

8:39PM Thanks for making Buffalo look like the blue collar depressed former industrial time it is. We couldn’t spruce it up for the video? Have I mentioned that the Bills haven’t played a home Monday night game in my little brother’s lifetime until tonight? He was born a month and a day after their last home Monday Night game. Craziness.

8:43PM See, again, the Bills offensive line gives Edwards much more time.

8:44PM How awesome was that fake punt!? I heart the Bills special teams. Bobby April is a genius, and Marv Levy’s love of special teams is always clear in his teams. Steve Tasker, Don Beebe, Steve Christie, Chris Mohr — you can name tons of great Bills players on special teams.

8:47PM Gotta love that all the Bills have is special teams.

8:50PM Checking my Blackberry almost distracted me from seeing that crazy interception. Who was Romo throwing to? The great punt by Moorman definitely helped that.

8:55PM At what point do I take a picture of the screen because it’s the only time the Bills will lead tonight?

8:59PM Two interceptions in 87 seconds? What is going on with Romo?

9:03PM my late dinner of leftover buffalo wings from Grille Zone (the closest thing to real you can get in Boston) and Wegmans Cream Soda was just prepared during that time out.

9:04PM way to take the wind out of our sails, cowboys. And how did the Cowboys fans get up to Buffalo?

9:06PM Delay of game, Cowboys. By the way, warmed up buffalo wings — not so hot. I guess that’s what blue cheese is for.

9:10PM Suzy definitely thought it was going to be colder — she’s outfitted in a trench coat and turtleneck. It’s 70 degrees.

9:12PM I wish Roscoe Parrish was more consistent, or better yet, had a more consistent quarterback (which is currently being developed.) He has the ability to be a great fantasy WR. I like him better than Lee Evans. Parrish fights for the ball — Evans used to.

9:17PM To pay a little bit of attention to that game that the rest of Boston is paying attention to — it’s Indians 4, Yankees 1. I’m surprised to see “A. Rodriguez struck out looking,” starting off the last Yankees inning at bat. What’s going on with him? Not that I have a problem with the Yankees losing, but to have such a decrease in production like A-Rod’s had as of late is concerning – is there an injury no one knows of?

9:21PM I don’t like T.O., but this “no spiking the ball” rule is like the NFL equivalent of Buzz Killington, the Family Guy character. “Let me tell you a story about a bridge.” On a related note, I would bet money that my father just thought, “That’s for all of those unfair calls against the Bills in Super Bowl XXVIII! HA!”

9:24PM I think AT&T maybe ought to stop running this Roger Clemens commercial, where he asks his wife if he can come back for another season, and the call is dropped. It might not be that funny anymore after what has gone down in New York the last two days.

9:40PM I love fakes that are so good that the cameraman is faked. Now, Edwards’s fake in the red zone wasn’t fantastic, and it resulted in only a field goal, but it’s always fun when the cameraman is faked.

9:45PM Can you believe this?! Romo’s pass on about the Cowboys 10 was just deflected and intercepted by Chris Kelsay and returned shortly for a touchdown. I’m surprised B The Bills were ranked 32nd on defense coming into today? How? Are we sure about that? Miami wasn’t ranked below them?

10:10PM Wait – Steve Young is in Western New York for the first time since 1999? WHY AM I NOT THERE?!

10:15PM In all of his various Hall of Fame related public appearances, Thurman Thomas has been overwhelmingly gracious and classy. They just showed him being recognized at halftime, and he expressed such gratefulness that is refreshing in athletes in 2007. Maybe I’m just jaded.

10:17PM The ESPn first half stats just confirmed my estimation that the Bills are winning the time of posession battle for the first time in like…forever. At least, since I was a freshman in college.

10:19PM A neighbor’s smoke alarm keeps going off — it regularly does, so I’m not overwhelmingly paniked — and my cat subsequently keeps freaking out.

10:20PM Don’t challenge if Julius Jones’ knee is down — it’s obviously a loss of a time out that the Bills are so going to need later. This is especially true because Trent Edwards seems to keep having trouble hearing calls through his headset, and a pumped Buffalo crowd will not continue to help him in this regard.

10:21PM Oh, that call worked out for the Bills. Again, my dad is probably muttering at the television back in Rochester, “That was for 1994…that was for 1994.”

10:24PM I heart the number of Binghamton references being made this evening. It’s helpful for me in the long run — I hopefully won’t get that many quizzical looks when I tell people where I went to college because of it. “Western New York gets a bad rap.” says Jaws. Very true, very true.

10:28PM Terrell Owens has always suffered from the dropsies like he has tonight. See the 1997-98 San Francisco 49ers. See especially the 1998 Packers-Niners divisional series. Is Owens’ talent worth the chance? At what point do you determine this? When are teams going to stop taking this chance?

10:35PM I always get jeers for picking Terrence McGee in my fantasy football league that involves picking individual defensive players. For the past three years, the guys in my league laugh at me for that pick. And for the last three years, I have cleaned up defensively. See again, right now — Terrence MeGee, 103 yard return for a touchdown. By the way, my defense in that league is very good — Ray Lewis, McGee, London Fletcher Baker, Mario Williams, Ike Hillard. Too bad my offense in that league stinks.

10:41PM First mention of Kevin Everett by the commentators tonight with 7:25 left in the 3rd quarter. Wow, I expected one much earlier than this.

10:42PM In baseball news, the Yankees-Indians game is still going — it’s in the bottom of the seventh. That game began a hour before this football game did. This is why I prefer football. Baseball is slow and can take forever. Football does have its game length problems, but at least it’s almost constant action. Gosh, do the Yankees ever play a game with a duration under three hours?

10:59PM I almost don’t want to watch the rest of this game. I would like to recall it with this eleven point lead that I have a inkling won’t stay that much for long.

11:14PM Turnover number five. Between last week against the Jets and tonight, the Bills can’t be last in defense anymore. And I would like to argue they weren’t horrendous defensively before that — they were worse than St. Louis and Miami? Really? I’ve seen four games of theirs now, and listened to the fifth on the radio, and I would like to dispute this supposed #32 ranking in defense.

11:19PM First specifically Rochester reference of the night, regarding the regionalization of the Bills franchise and the number of season ticket holders from the area.

11:20PM Marshawn Lynch has excellent tumbling ability, as evidenced by that backward roll after his most recent run. He should be a gymnast — or not. (Yes, I taught toddler tumbling in a prior life, thus why I just made such an inane comment.)

11:23PM That’s it — I’m turning back to the baseball game. After that interception of Edwards, I can’t watch this game anymore. Darn.

11:25PM I couldn’t stay away — I’m not a baseball fan, who am I kidding, I’m just a glutton for punishment — and I see a tail end of the fifth Tony Romo interception off the evening, this time by DiGiorgio, leading Kornheiser to announce, “It’s not pizza, it’s DiGiorgio.” However, I’m a Bills fan — it’s not over and I’m still pessimistic.

11:29PM I just watched a Sportscenter game break about Jake Delhomme – how could all those fantasy football experts be right in saying before the season not to draft him? Are they psychic? I mean, I know they claimed “loss of production expected” as the reason not to draft them, but were they just afraid to disclose their injury psychic abilities?

11:36PM I’m officially scared and don’t want to watch this game anymore — it’s going downhill fast. Baseball? I’ll switch to baseball.

11:37PM Ewww, Yankees home run in the bottom of the ninth. I’ll turn back.

11:45PM Yeah, I really shouldn’t have turned back.

11:46PM I honestly muted the television and covered my eyes with the last two plays. But did I expect such a defeating, horrible loss? Of course. I’m a fan of the Bills. I came back to the Bills after two years of Patriots fandom because I like to be depressed and I like rooting for the underdog. So at least they scared the Cowboys and we all had a good time while they did so. Well, except for those who had money on this game. I don’t think they had a good time. No, they probably didn’t.