Nextag.com rounded up some figures and shared them with members of the media throughout the web. Here are some of the facts and figures I found interesting:

• In terms of Patriots’ gear, “Tom Brady continues to be the most sought-after jersey with 8 of the top 10 selling items, followed by Wes Welker.”

• Women’s merchandise account for seven of the top ten most popular Patriots’ items sold online. The most popular item is the “Reebok New England Patriots Tom Brady Premier Team Color Jersey,” with a women’s pink jersey, the “Reebok New England Patriots Tom Brady Women’s Pink Fem Fan Jersey” coming in a close second.

• Despite the usual outcry towards pink and sparkly sports wear for women, two of the top ten Patriots items on Nextag.com are pink female jerseys. Another two have rhinestone embellishment and are in fabric and prints exclusive to women’s styles.

Big thanks to Nextag.com for sharing this data with sportswear geek me. What will I be wearing to the Super Bowl Party I’m working Sunday? Not anything Brady, but not anything Manning either. I’ll be wearing a very special outfit that will represent the two teams that would have made the Big Game…if the AFC and NFC determined their representatives based solely on the first four weeks of the season. I promise to post a photo sometime Sunday on my Twitter feed.

We’ve seen tons of stories throughout the years of athletes persevering through injury or illness to play in the most important game, meet or match of their lives, and many of them have been in the Super Bowl. In a well-done marketing move, the marketing team behind Vicks created the following info-graphic about not letting anything derail you from playing in, attending or watching the game, as well as the best NFL stories that have the healing quality of a good bowl of chicken soup.

It even gives a shout-out for one of the only New England Patriots I can root for, fellow Western New Yorker Rob Gronkowski. A recent fan survey pointed to him as the best example of the Vicks slogan, “In the NFL, there are no sick days.”

(I’m a sucker for info-graphics, what can I say?

I eventually grew up, traveled much more, even lived in a hotel for a year and a half (overflow housing at Binghamton), and realized that beloved Walden Galleria hotel was just a chain. A clean chain, a safe chain, a very nice hotel for a 14 year old on a Girl Scout trip to a large regional mall, but still…a chain.

So part of me was taken aback when Tom Brady may have taken a swipe at Buffalo hotels in a Super Bowl press conference on Wednesday. You don’t like Buffalo hotels? You specifically felt the need to call out Buffalo hotels? I’m sorry that the Rust Belt-but-still-surviving city of Buffalo doesn’t suit the taste of you, your Brazilian supermodel wife and your two small children who honestly just get excited to go swim in a hotel pool regardless of its Triple A star status.

Then the more rational, less defensive, and Boston conditioned side of me took over. He may have a point. Brady only sees Buffalo and the surrounding area during its coldest and grayest months. He’s not spending long periods of time there (unless he gets snowbound in the Hyatt in Rochester after the World Junior Hockey Championships prevent him and his teammates from lodging in Buffalo.) And the hotels around Orchard Park, much like the hotels around Brady’s home stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts, are like the ones near the Walden Galleria: generic chains or sketchy motor inns best suited for home hair dyed hookers. (Nothing against home hair dye.)

Maybe it was not the best statement to make in public. Maybe he should have picked on Green Bay. (They’re small market too. They just…market their quaintness and sausages better?) But in the grand scheme of awful remarks to make, Brady’s jab ranks pretty low.

(I wrote this post Wednesday evening, before Tim Graham of the Buffalo News summed up Brady’s remarks and Buffalo’s knee jerk reaction perfectly Thursday morning. Read his column here. Brady isn’t the first athlete to bash Buffalo’s tourism, and most likely will not be the last.)

Another note: if any Western New Yorker uses this as an excuse to root for the Giants, I will…shake my head disappointingly (I’m not good with threats.) The Giants are not New York’s horse in this race; they are New Jersey’s. They are just as inherently unlikable as the Patriots. Remember the poorly officiated and entirely devastating Super Bowl XXV? Why would you even consider rooting for the team that caused Bills fans so much heartache twenty-one years ago?

From the Kansas City Star.

Maybe that was the first whole football game you watched. Maybe it was the thirtieth. Maybe your father has gotten you into the great sport of football because he doesn’t have any sons…yet. Maybe you desperately wanted to hang out with your older siblings or uncles and were watching football in order to do so. Maybe you were at your friend’s giant game watch party in her giant house and her seven brothers and sisters and all of their friends.

Maybe it was your turn in the awesome wicker hanging chair in the den (quite the hot commodity in a party fill of 40 kids from the ages of 5-18) when Billy Cundiff’s kick went wide left Sunday afternoon, sealing a win for the New England Patriots and costing the Baltimore Ravens a chance at the Super Bowl.

You’ll probably remember that exact moment for the rest of your life. It’s either the moment where you gave up on football forever, or discovered how intriguing and mysterious football – and sports in general – can be.

Sport shows us an important life lesson: that the almost certain isn’t always guaranteed, that what seems a given is not always granted. The Ravens missed field goal showed you that on Sunday evening, and it may be the first time you’ve experienced the phenomenon, but it will not be the last. As you get older, you’ll find that the man who you’re “certain” is “The One” unceremonially dumps you out of the blue. You’ll find that the career you thought was “certainly” your destiny isn’t what you end up doing at all. You’ll find that the almost anything guaranteed has an annoying catch that ruins its perfection. But you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, take a shot of espresso (or when you’re old enough, vodka), smile and continue on. It’s life, and you’ll always remember the first time you learned that nothing is a given in life.

If you decide to stay a football fan despite Sunday’s disappointment, you are in for more lows but some wonderful highs. There will be seasons where your team actually makes it to the Super Bowl, but is trounced by an overbearing loudmouth Texas team. There will be times, however, that while your team is losing massively in that Super Bowl, they’ll make those brazen Texans look like fools.  (Wikipedia “Leon Lett” for more information.) There will be seasons where your team sets an NFL record, coming back from a 32 point deficit in a playoff game on the arm of a backup quarterback to advance to the next round. There are those years where your team starts well, then signs their mediocre quarterback to a knee-jerk long-term contract, then loses all of their useful offensive targets due to injury, and then their only playmaker left standing gets benched in the season’s final game because he decided to write “Happy New Year” on his undershirt and show it off after a touchdown.

There are going to be years like that, and they will outnumber the good years.

I was in your shoes on January 27, 1991, watching Scott Norwood’s kick sail wide right of the goal posts during Super Bowl XXV, sealing the Buffalo Bills’ loss to the New York Giants. Like Norwood and “wide right” for me, Cundiff and the words “wide left” for you will always make you shiver, stick out your tongue, scrunch up your face or just give you the bitter taste of burnt coffee in your mouth.

It’s the type of play that either cements your fandom, extinguishes any interest you had in football, or peaks your curiosity and love of sports in general. If it wasn’t for Scott Norwood and the emotional reactions of the people around me to that play over 20 years ago, I don’t think I would be obsessed with telling the layered and nuanced stories that sports create.

The seemingly bad aftermath of Cundiff’s miss (and Lee Evans’ muffed catch the play before) may be just the beginning of your lifelong obsession with sports. And if it is, then welcome.

After reviewing the press conference transcript, I decided to decipher Belichick’s statements, and translate them into what he really wanted to say about the Bills.

Belichick said: “Chan [Gailey] and his staff have done a real good job with that team.”

What he meant: ”At least Gailey has kept his job, despite an inability to make smart decisions in the red zone for the last half of the season. He’s done better than, say, Todd Haley. So there’s that.”

Belichick said: “They do a lot of things well; they’re not penalized much.”

What he meant: “The Bills may not be penalized much, but they also make brainless mistakes and mismanage the clock. The way Ryan Fitzpatrick has handled the play clock in the last few games, you would think he never played with one in the Ivy League. So what’s worse?

“And when I say they do a lot of things well, I mean their owners haven’t drawn the intense ire of their stadium’s neighbors by trying to build a Las Vegas style casino on a stretch of road where the traffic resembles sausage being pressured into casing. So there’s that. Oh, and I guess you could give them some credit for those new uniforms. So yes, they do a lot of things well.”

Belichick said: “You have to play good football against them, obviously a lot better than we played the last time. Hopefully we’ll be able to do that but it’s not easy.”

What he meant: “You have to not have a horrific record setting yard allowing defense against the Bills. Then again, that’s the same for every team we’ve played this season. Controlling the inabilities of our defense will be key not just for this week against the potential spoiler Bills, but in the playoffs. Some question our defensive leadership and coaching, but here’s a fun note about my defensive staff: if you add up the ages of the two coaches realistically in charge of the defense – Matt Patricia and Josh Boyer – they are still roughly thirty years younger than Ralph Wilson and Marv Levy.

“But our defense can allow all the yards they want – unless Gailey uses a back besides Tashard Choice in the red zone on Sunday, our questionable defense may be able to keep the Bills at bay.”

Belichick said: “They do a lot of things well; return the ball well. ”

What he meant: “They did a lot of things well, until 17 of them ended up on the injured reserve and they subsequently tanked the rest of the season. I mentioned returning the ball well because it was the only thing I could think of to praise them on. In reality, the Bills only have one return touchdown this year, and rank 22nd in the league in that category. But they are better than we are – my Patriots are a dour 29th.”

————
Buffalo Bills fans aren’t taking Sunday’s matchup against the Patriots lightly. Northtown Automotive, the “official car dealer of the Buffalo Bills”, posted this as their weekend billboard in Buffalo.

The Northtown Automotive billboard for NFL Week 17. (From the Buffalo Bills Twitter account)

I’ll be in the Gillette Stadium crowd on Sunday afternoon, wearing Bills gear and holding my breath. I probably won’t be Tweeting (see my Gillette Stadium guide from earlier this week for why), but I’m sure I’ll share my thoughts as soon as I am able.

Like any stadium, you learn a few tricks and tips after a few visits that make your trip all the more enjoyable. After I attended November’s Monday Night Football Chiefs-Patriots game, I jotted down this list of the tips I’ve learned to share with other non-Gillette regulars.

You will not eat in Patriots Place pre-game without reservations.

There may be 15 restaurant options available at Patriots Place, the outdoor shopping mall adjacent to Gillette Stadium, but no matter how early you get there before game time, you won’t be able to eat at them. Many establishments go “reservations only” before Patriots games. The ones that don’t (like the much talked about “Tony Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill”) have waits up to an hour or more, which is difficult to navigate before game time. (Which is too bad – I wanted to drink beer out of a jam jar.)

No reservations, but you want to eat outside the stadium? Five Guys, Qdoba and Dunkin’ Donuts are your best options, though you probably will be standing while you eat your meal.

Forgot gloves? Need an extra layer? Want a Patriots shirt? Go to Old Navy.

My husband underestimated how cold it was going to be that Monday night, and feared getting price gauged for gloves at the Patriots Pro Shop. As we walked towards Patriots Place from the car, I noticed an Old Navy. “Maybe they’ll have cheap gloves,” I said.

Sure enough, the Old Navy in Patriots Place not only had cheap gloves (we ended up getting a $7 pair that were a bit more tricked out than normal gloves), but cheap fleece pullovers ($12 on sale!) and Old Navy’s newish line of NFL gear. Why go to the Pro Shop and pay $35 for a t-shirt when Old Navy’s are cheaper?

Gillette may be the only acceptable place in America for a Snuggie.

Gillette Stadium security (as with many NFL stadiums these days) is fierce. Not only is there a pat-down, but an intense bag search where even your cell phones is given the once over. The patrons who brought a blanket to the stadium went through an even harder time, having to go through a separate line and spending even longer in an already disorganized security station.

My suggestion if you must bring a blanket to the game? Wear a Snuggie. I know they’re totally embarrassing and a safety hazard for us short folks (because of the tripping possibilities), but it may be the only way to avoid the extra security and still have that extra layer. You won’t find me with one, but hey – if you have one, flaunt one.

Security lesson for the non-blanket toters? Ladies, bring the tiniest bag you have or don’t bring one at all. Men, keep the pocket contents to a minimum, and get ready for a pat down that, if administered anywhere else, would get a place shut down for being that illegal sort of massage.

On AT&T? Don’t expect to Tweet during the game.

Gillette Stadium has the same issue Fenway Park had for most of this past season. No, Tom Brady’s not eating chicken on the sidelines (I imagine Giselle has him on a macrobiotic diet anyway.) Gillette’s AT&T service is non-existent once the stadium becomes full. I last tweeted and texted a half hour before game time, and then couldn’t again until I left Route 1.

Verizon’s service in the area is fine (not surprising, seeing that they are a major sponsor of the Patriots.) But if you have AT&T, you’ll be service-less for most of the game.

Specify that you want a regular beer.

Tom Brady slyly suggested earlier this season that fans should get liquored up before and during games. (I mean, he asked them to “stay hydrated.” Sorry.) There are plenty of places to follow Mr. Brady’s orders within Gillette Stadium, including a great of selection of actual quality beers (Harpoon, Wachusett) for the same prices as the cheaper stuff.

But don’t make the same mistake I did, and order a “beer.” The default seems to be the large size, which will run you $11. Specify a “regular sized beer” and you’ll get the $8 version. You’ll get less beer, of course, but when you just wanted to get numb to the cold a little and not tipsy, it is the better option.

There are about 5 sections of the entire stadium that stand during the game.

And I was in one of them during the Chiefs-Patriots game. which was great. I also like to stand during football games, but at Gillette I typically find myself in an area that treats a football game like a symphony concert. I have seen dance recital crowds with more excitement. The upper section of the stadium sits through the game and you can’t hear a peep from them.

But on my fourth trip to Gillette earlier this season, I finally found a section that was lively and on its feet. My section also included an amusing drunk man who had a total bromance going on with Nate Solder…in his mind. Every time Solder was announced as reporting as eligible, the man would yell some increasingly slurred cheer for him, including, “You’re a Buffalo Solder, Nate!,” “Keep on Solder,” and the much intoxicated, “Sssssssolderrrrrrrr isssss the f— MAN!”

Don’t expect to leave anytime soon after the game.

Despite parking in lot P10, which has been recommended to me by several Patriots regulars as the lot easiest to get out of, it still took roughly two hours to get out of the parking lot and onto Route 1. Post-game tailgaters have the right idea. We would have been best served by taking an hour long nap in our car and then attempting to get out of the parking lot. Bring a book, turn on sports radio and prepare for the longest line you’ve ever been in. They should really make Dunkin’ Donuts huts in the parking lot for you to run to when you’re idling for a few hours. (You can have that idea for free, Kraft Family, if you just give me a few free coffees.)

Sunday’s poor showing by Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson is a glaring example. His post-touchdown mime of New York Jets wide receiver Plaxico Burress’s accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound and a declining jet plane drew an unnecessary penalty (though it is somewhat amusing to see the Jets handed a taste of their own bombastic overstating medicine.) Johnson can’t claim naivety – he’s been a wide receiver in the National Football League for four years. He knows that the Merton Hanks, Deion Sanders and Terrell Owens post-play antics of the past are now looked down upon. But he did his display anyway, drew the penalty, and thus caused the chaotic kickoff that resulted in very favorable field placement and subsequent touchdown for the Jets.

Johnson then miffed two key catches on the last drive of the game – catches that presented a clear and easy run route ahead of him, and would have resulted in a game winning touchdown. Given that Sunday’s game was a must-win to keep the Bills relevant in the AFC playoff picture, that touchdown would have been the most important of the season to that date. The lack of extra hustle by Johnson to make them – or at least outstretch his arms a bit more and read the pass better – is disappointing.

Will any of Johnson’s lack of effort and focus – as demonstrated by the dropped catches and post-TD performance – be punished by the Bills? If history repeats itself, probably not.

The Bills have lacked systematic accountability since the days of Marv Levy. Levy was a coach that installed and rewarded responsible and vocal captains in the locker room and on the field, and didn’t mince words or actions himself. The Johnson/Flutie years saw some strong in-team leadership as well. Since then, the Bills coaching staff and roster have been more about leniency than accountability. Neither Chan Gailey or his predecessor Dick Jauron seem interested in asking for and expecting more from their team, and let antics and egotistical play slide, whereas in other NFL organizations it is not. And is it any surprise that the organizations that are most hard nosed about such things, like the New England Patriots and the Green Bay Packers, have a history of winning? (Further, if you read Michael Holley’s excellent War Room, you can see that while the Patriots still have a hard nosed coach, a lack of locker room leadership eroded the team at times, and it has shown since 2008.)

One could even surmise that this inability to discipline their team does not solely rest on the coaching staff, but the front office who hires such unaccountable coaching staffs and the owner, who we are unsure is even still alive. Buffalo’s front office showed a strong valuation of character and responsibility when late general manager John Butler was in charge, but began to wane when he departed for the San Diego Chargers. Ralph Wilson has been largely absentee for years, and his lack of leadership regarding key issues is apparent. Other owners get involved and step in when a lack of discipline is sullying their brand. When the Pittsburgh Steelers have their various situations of poor character, their owner, Dan Rooney, hurriedly steps in and tries to right the ship.

It is when owners are absentee, or when they relish a spirit of personality rather that team (categories the late Raiders owner Al Davis both fell into in points of his career), then lack of discipline runs rampant. You can’t expect a return on your investment if players think more of their own worth than the organization’s.

So Johnson’s Sunday antics may be making the national headlines today for their content, but what they are really indicative of is a culture of mediocrity and a lack of responsibility within the Bills. That Johnson had the sense that an extended touchdown celebration that would cost his team was worth it speaks to the inability of the Bills organization to instill a sense of responsibility across the board. The lack of effort Johnson showed on the final drive speaks to the lack of expectations instilled by the coaching staff. Until the Bills start seeking more from those that they hire across the board, they will be bottom feeders, and us fans, the laughing stocks of our non-Bills fans. How long must fans waste our time sticking up for an inept organization?

Has anyone started a Tumblr full of captioned Jim Harbaugh-Jim Schwartz tiff photos yet? We’ll call it, “I Can Has Hard Handshake.”

I was slammed with work all day, but the minute I got home, I knew what had to be done. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present “I Can Has Hard Handshake?”

But wait, there’s more! I’m not exactly great at these (it’s my first time), but I tried my best. Give me at least a B for effort.

By the way, word came out early this evening that the NFL will not fine either coach for their confrontation.

Are you a fan of Wes Welker, Danny Woodhead and Julian Edelman? Of course. You like them for their grit, their playmaking abilities, their chemistry with quarterback Tom Brady, and their ability as kick/punt returners. You also like them because they’re shorter than normal football players, and have found success in the NFL regardless of the freakishly large men around them.

If you adore what Welker, Woodhead and Edelman do for your team, then you need to cross team allegiance lines and thank the man who blazed their path twenty years ago: Steve Tasker.

Those who have read this blog for a while know my feelings on Tasker. I think it is honestly ridiculous that the legendary Buffalo Bill is not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He, along with his special teams minded coaches, made the position of kick returner/punt returner/wide receiver what it is today.

The 5-9, 183 pound Tasker defined the idea of a shorter statured wide receiver finding success in special teams. He used his short-and-stout body type as a positive and plowed over, around and through defenders double his size. He returned kicks and punts for touchdowns. He blocked kicks and punts, took down other kick returners, and mired the Bills’ opponents deep in their own territory or gave the Bills’ offense back the ball immediately. Tasker would just throw himself in front of whomever had the ball – the kicker, the kick returner, whomever – and make their life at that moment in time a living hell. He also had grit and determination that showed on every play – no matter if his team was dominating the early 1990s AFC or in the midst of being embarrassed by the Dallas Cowboys in a Super Bowl. One of football’s most influential football minds, Bill Parcells, once admitted that he had to change his entire special teams game plan specifically for Tasker.

Tasker made seven Pro Bowl teams, seven All Pro teams, and is considered one of the top ten players never to make it into the Hall of Fame. Voters are hesitant to elect him to Canton because he only played on special teams, though it is well documented that the main reason Bills’ head coach Marv Levy held him out of the offense because he feared injuring their key special teams player. You can see Levy’s logic at work: because of his work defending kickoffs and punts, Tasker got his offense the ball back much quicker, giving them more opportunities to score each game.

I’ll grant you that Tasker was used differently than Welker, Edelman and Woodhead are on the Patriots’ offense and special teams. The three aren’t used as much defensively as Tasker was. But had Tasker not been used the way he was, and had he not been so valuable to the Buffalo Bills, NFL coaches might not be so inclined to use smaller wide receivers and kick returners the way they currently do. In the lineage of NFL offensive players, Tasker begat Welker, Edelman and Woodhead. The three would have had less of a chance to succeed had Tasker not given opponents fits and his team such an advantage in the 1990s.

So Patriots fans, cross those party lines and give credit where credit is due. Steve Tasker made the quick, gritty and short wide receiver who can make an impact on special teams a desirable commodity. If Hall of Famer Levy is to be celebrated for his creation and curation of modern special teams play, then Canton should induct the pen with which Levy wrote his special teams manifesto: Tasker.

Sincerely,

Kat

P.S. Need video proof? Here’s some for you:

NFL Network’s package on Tasker as the ninth best player not in the Hall of Fame

The commercial is only epic if you’re a fan of the two (like I am.) For the rest of America, it’s about as relevant as having Full House’s Danny Tanner hawk cleaning products. Appropriate casting…for 1995. Heck, I bet half the people who see this commercial have no idea who they are, yet alone that they were one of the best QB-WR combinations in NFL history.

That aside, what is truly epic is the behind the scenes video. In this video shot by KGO-TV in San Francisco in December, Young and Rice get funky. Yes. Let us watch them get down with their bad selves. Jump to the :45 second mark in this video and see the two try to do some type of dance. Gosh darn it, is it terribly awkward.

This is the stuff popular animated GIFs are made of. Now, if only I knew how to make one.